Not in the mood for God...

There isn’t any sense in beating around the bush, this week has sucked… yeah, yeah I know what you’re thinking it’s probably the same thing I think when I think something sucks… compared to everyone else’s REAL problems my problems are small and really not even worth complaining about.  There are people in this world that are going hungry, don’t know where they are laying their head when the sun sets, and own nothing more than the clothes on their back. Sure, when you think about it that way, my problems are minute and not worth complaining about, but in Bethany’s self-absorbed world my complaints are REAL and are worth complaining about.  You my friend, have just stepped into Bethany’s world…                                                                                   

I have a tendency to let my thoughts get the best of me; I apparently have a vivid imagination that I was unaware of.   I have the ability to turn the most insignificant, smallest, and minor, itty bitty mole hills into the most enormous, biggest, greatest, tallest, massive, humungous, most extraordinary mountains you have ever seen. Literally.  I can turn an innocent statement that means absolutely nothing into something that has the ability to turn my life completely upside down. I feel like I never have peace because I let my thoughts torment my life.  My thoughts always remind me of that song by Journey “Wheel in the Sky” except it’s the (Now sing this in your best “Journey” voice to get the full effect haha)  “Wheels in my mind keep on turning, I don’t know where my thoughts will be tomorrow”  But seriously, that’s why my week sucked… I let my negative thoughts completely consume my every moment.  They say your mind is a powerful thing, well I’m pretty sure Superman along with Wonder Woman, the Hulk, Spider Man, and Batman have teamed up and somehow transferred all  their super hero powers to my mind… seriously that’s possible, right? The only problem is, I think my mind received all the powers, but failed to read the memo that came with them.  You know, the memo saying you’re supposed to turn bad into good, fight against evil, and make things better.  However, it appears my mind read it backwards and turns good into bad, partners with evil, and makes everything worse…   Well that is just fan-freakin-tastic… NOT!!!! I guess I should have bought that “hooked on phonics” after all huh

Well this week has been nothing more than mole hills, but of course as you just learned, I turned them all into something similar to Mt Everest.  So yeah, my problems may not seem that big in the scheme of things, but you try climbing Mt Everest 7 days in a row and see if you’re week don’t suck.  Climbing Mt Everest obviously isn’t an easy task, but letting someone carry you up the mountain sounds pretty awesome if you ask me…  You get to the top, the same as you would as if took the journey alone, but you are nowhere near as tired as you would be had you been the one walking. Sure, you experienced the rough parts of the journey.  Sure, you would be there during obstacles and hardships that come with climbing the mountain, but you will only feel the secondary aftermath of the trials, you will never have to experience the direct effect.  It sounds to me like being CARRIED up the mountain is the much better option than climbing the mountain yourself.

Well during my metaphorical climb of Mt Everest this week, I really wish I would have chosen to be carried. Instead, I chose to travel alone.  I decided, since God didn’t keep Mt Everest from sneaking up on me, he wasn’t going to be tagging along with me.  Quite frankly, I just wasn’t in the mood for Him.  I know, that’s an awful thing to say, but it is the truth.

When I woke up yesterday morning, I looked at my devotional lying on my bathroom counter and quickly turned away from it. Heck no, I’m not reading it today, I JUST DON’T CARE!!!!! I feel completely defeated and want nothing to do with it. I shouldn’t even have to deal with this crap, I’ve been a good person, but yet you are still letting my mind turn little things into big things.  At that moment I just was not in the mood for God, but OOOOHHHHHHH how I sincerely wish I would have been….

Today I still wasn’t exactly “in the mood” and since we are being honest, I was letting my youngin play outside and had nothing better to do, so I picked up the devotional.  I figured since I didn’t read yesterday’s I might as well catch up, and read it before I read today’s…. This is when my wishful thinking kicked in…

Yesterday’s Devotional from the book Jesus Calling (I strongly suggest this book, it has rocked my world)

May 31                                                                                                                                                 

 “THE PEACE THAT I GIVE YOU transcends your intellect. When most of your mental energy goes into efforts to figure things out, you are unable to receive this glorious gift.  I look into your mind and see thoughts spinning round and round: going nowhere, accomplishing nothing. All the while, My Peace hovers over you, searching for a place to land.                                                                                                                                                                       Be still in My Presence, inviting me to control your THOUGHTS. Let My Light soak into your mind and heart, until you are aglow with My very Being.  This is the most effective way to receive My Peace. “       

Wow… If only I had been “in the mood” for God yesterday… If only I had let him carry me through my troubles, if only I had given him control of my thoughts… Maybe that mole hill would have never turned into a mountain…. Yesterday’s devotional was meant for me to read, but I was traveling alone and didn’t want to accept any help.  He was there to help all long and pick me up, but I never allowed Him to.  Ohhh how I wish I would have.  I think it’s safe to say, I learned a VERY valuable lesson.

Rather your mountains really are mountains, or your mind has the same super hero powers that my mind obviously has and you turn your mole hills into mountains… Let God carry you; in whatever you do, don’t travel alone.  Sure, you’re still going to experience the journey, you’re going to go through the obstacles and hardships, but you will never have to experience the direct effect. If you will choose to be carried, I can promise you, when you reach the top; you will not find yourself as exhausted as you will be if you choose to travel alone.